Cannot Haz Cheezburger....

Just on Fridays, kitteh. Pat pat pat.

Photos from the Carolinas Road Trip

I'm back, y'all. Hopefully for just one more year or so, and then get myself moved to Charleston.  The purpose of the trip was to see if Charlotte, NC was a fit for me, and if you read my prior post you know that it's not.  Is Charleston heaven?  Well, not especially, but the quality of life can't be beat.  I felt very much at home in the south and I believe in my heart that I've found... my home.

Here is the route that I drove, I clocked just under 1400 miles:

http://mapq.st/gx7oWb

Part of the joy of the trip was taking pictures, and both Carolinas have great subject matter.  South Carolina more so, in my opinion.  Would you like to see the pictures?  I can't lie, I'm extremely happy with the way they turned out.  Lucky for me, I chose to be in Charleston during the 150th anniversary of the start of the Civil War, and I took many pictures of the "soldiers" that made the pilgrimmage.

Here is my general Carolinas set:



And the set of the Soldiers - which I highly recommend:



Stay tuned for another post on my observations from the trip. I made many mental notes, and you all know how that goes: great brilliant thoughts while you're driving that don't usually make it to paper. It's a lot like waking up in the middle of the night with the cure for cancer. What? That never happens to you? I must be special :)

So What Happens When You Have a Brand New City?

Everything is so nice that it's boring.

I checked out Charlotte, NC today. My deep dark secret is that I want to move to the southeast, so this is my way of taking off the rose colored glasses to be sure of what I want. This would be a big move for me if I decide to do it.

The first thing that struck me about Charlotte is that it looks like the entire city was built at the same time - within the last ten years. There had to be a time when every city block was under construction. Everything is new, I was hard pressed to find anything old, at all. Because of that, I surmise that this is a very nice, successful city with no personality. Everything is new, mostly chain, and highly functional. People from most walks of life and all races carry themselves in a much more honorable manner than I'm accustomed to. And people are very friendly, they look you in the eye. Technically it's everything I've looked for, but I can't put my finger on why I'm not completely sold on it.

It's upscale, too. I appreciate upscale. You can buy very nice things here because they sell them. Clothing and furnishings and other services are not "catalog" and the same old... boring styles made of crappy material.  And all cultures and races are well dressed - families are intact and look cohesive - not dragged around. Kids aren't bitchy, you don't catch hell for making eye contact with strangers.

There is no litter. Charlotte is clean, even in the lower income areas. The roads are all intact.

There is no water and it's completely landlocked. I have to wonder if that's part of what strikes me as off. The lack of historical areas is also strange to me. Outside of downtown there are older buildings from the 60s and 70s and much of that is still functional, just not flashy and well planned like downtown and the city.

I don't know. Maybe I was expecting Chicago but south. And I know it's only been one day and I'm probably not giving it as much of a chance, or let it sink in yet. I'm sure I could make my home here, but I worry that I might feel understimulated. I'll be back here later on my trip and I might feel very differently once I get a chance to see more of the state.

What would I miss?  Aside from my family and life in Milwaukee?
Bay View, Rockabilly, Honky Tonks, fun Americana shows.  I might even miss some of the hipsterness of Riverwest, but I wouldn't miss the disposable scene of east Brady street and being aggressively hit up for change. I'd trade that for people who actively care about their lives, anyday, regardless of how vanilla.

JoAnne Kloppenburg Re-Victimizes Sex Abuse Victims

Yes, she does.

And there is a special place in hell for people like her, right next to sex abusers.

Miss Kloppenburg, do you have any idea how much sexual abuse destroys a child's life?

Completely. Children don't have the capacity to understand and navigate the shame they feel, they don't sort that out until many years later. And guess what! Child sex abuse is a gift that keeps on giving - the victim is never free - and they are left holding the bag. There is no magic bullet to healing, they have to clean up the situation and many of them never can. There is no full recourse for sex abuse victims. They are some of the most vulnerable of all victims.

Because their perceptions are damaged, many victims go on to be re-victimized. That is how life can align itself for the abuse victim. No, that doesn't make sense to the non-sexually-abused, but victims understand it completely. On top of this, abusers can smell the formerly abused from miles away.

So to have Kloppenburg running this ad and deliberately NOT asking for the ad to be pulled only says one thing: she condones it. She condones reactivating all of the emotions, messed up perceptions, shame and feelings of filth in two victims and quite honestly - in many victims. I hope that the victims SUE THE SHIT out of her for emotional damage.

She should be fully ashamed of herself and go hide in a cave, forever, for compelling a sex abuse victim, who just wants to get on with his life, to publicly refute her ad and proclaim the truth about being victimized. Now that, is pure evil.

A trip down memory lane with...

Cookie Monster...

Nothing Like Being Harassed by Your Own Employer

Since when does a Marquette harass it's own employees, let alone a law professor?

Well it's happening.

Marquette Warrior: Marquette Warrior Blogger Harassed by Provost John Pauly

It's a lengthy read for those of you who are faint of heart and focus. So if you're not into proof or facts and only understand hearsay, you can skip this reading exercise altogether. So just remember this instead: if your employer is John Pauly and you agree with his politics (instead of the other way around), you're probably just fine. Until you change your mind. And someday, you will.

Dear God;

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Women

I Wasn't Planning to Post This to the Blog... but....

Since I've given up Twitter and Facebook for Lent, I'm left with fewer options to promote my participation in the UPAF Ride for the Arts. You see, I'm going all in. Not only am I going to finish my route - starting with biking across the Hoan bridge - I'm going to raise an additional $500 for UPAF.

I'm still pretty new to cycling, so this will be very challenging for me. I'm also about as new to fund raising as I could be, but I'm ready to put myself out there and ask you for your financial support for my ride. Even if you can make a small donation, it will be very appreciated. Not just for me, but for kids and young adults in the community who like me, derived much benefit from the arts while growing up.

Knowing you've supported me will provide the extra motivation as I bike across the Hoan bridge. How so?

Donations through the blog will earn you the best advertising money can get. Well actually it's not advertising per se...

If you donate through the blog - I will write your name and donation amount on my very own limbs on the day of the ride. Just enter "Go Phel!" in the comment section for your donation and "Whallah!", you're a write-in for race day. Prime real estate such as quads and forearms go to the highest donations.

So don't let me down... help me give back to the community :)

Here is the link to my donation page. Or cut and paste the URL:

http://events.upaf.org/OFR/dsp_ParticipantPage.cfm?idEvent=2&idUser=7188

And thanks for your support!

In Soviet Russia, You Own Avalanche

Lent, Unplugged

Like last year, I gave up Twitter and Facebook for Lent. A couple of weeks ago, I wasn't sure how I would spend the time (yes, I do spend a lot of time on both). My random thoughts couldn't be shared via text... I might actually have to say it to another person.

I'll admit that social media has influenced the way I think and communicate, and not necessarily for the better. For as shy as I can be, I have always been a people person, and my social skills have atrophied as a result of social media. Now, social media isn't all bad. Do I know more people as a result of social media? Yes. Am I close with all of them? No. It's networking in the classic sense. Perhaps my biggest complaint is my tendency to default to social media instead of turning around and saying hello to the person next to me, or cracking a joke in my Monty Pythonesque way. My inability to turn to the person next to me and make eye contact or say anything is wreaking havoc on my life, and I don't like it.

These thoughts have been winding around in my head at least for the past year. The loss of creativity, flexibility and spontaneity I had not so long ago, are a true loss to me. When I came across this article by Fr. James Schall, SJ, I thought that someone finally understood what I had been experiencing. As human beings, we are made for relationship. If we don't have relationship, the part of us that is able to bond to another person will suffer. That part of us that bonds can never be written out of our code... it will always come back to remind us.


Fr. Schall captures this very well...

"The truth of Christ is the full and authentic response to that human desire for relationship, communion and meaning which is reflected in the immense popularity of social networks." But the limits of friendship and finiteness remain. "He who is a friend of everyone is a friend of no one," as Aristotle said. And I suppose that he who communicates with everyone knows no one in any meaningful sense.

Something else that is interesting about social media... real everyday relationships are full of ups and downs and moments we can't control. In the virtual world, we actually have more control over our interactions with other people. We can think of something clever to say, cite our positions with google searches and links, shut down the conversation or delete it entirely. Nobody would ever know that we disagreed with someone, been incorrect, said enormously stupid or vile things. And the people we hurt or hurt us can never see our facial expressions, hear the changes in our voices, or truly know the impact of the interaction with the other person.

The exception to this, is the group of folks that I have met via blogging since 2006. We are a very close group, see each other often, and are a part of each others lives. Damn, I miss them lately too... So much is lost in the digital age.

Including time that we can be spending with people in real life. So I gave up Twitter and Facebook for Lent so that I could do a few things:

- clear my mind
- focus on priorities of my life (which are conveniently forgotten when you're getting attention at will online)
- to spend time with people, in person

And how could I not put at the top of my list....focus on faith. Lent is my favorite season. I'm very fortunate to belong to a parish that is gentle and instructive. Every year I learn more about what it means to have faith and what God asks of us. It's not always fun to educate your conscience, but it sure makes life more satisfying (albeit challenging).

So it has been good so far... I have more work ahead of me, and more brain space at my disposal.

And Now Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Ruth Buzzi, Laughing

Watch this video on VideoSurf or see more Ruth Buzzi Videos or Ruth Videos

Everybody needs good neighbors

I got home a little late this evening and noticed that my neighbor Tony's door was open.  I figured he might step out and say hello. But as usual, I rushed in and got settled. 

I thought of Tony a few times today.  How I call him "Mr. Tarantino" even though he's my neighbor, this morning I wondered if the alarm I set in the kitchen to keep me on schedule ever wakes him up in the morning.  His parking spot is near the back entrance to the building, and I recalled when one of the windows fell off the building and smashed the back window.

My garbage.  Man, it stunk.  Snuggy pants and a sweatshirt are not the way you want to be seen in your building on any given day, but the stinky stuff had to go.  At the elevators, my neighbor peeked out of her door and said that my neighbor Tony had died... the coroners were there at that very moment tending to his body.  I took the trash out so that I could get back upstairs and talk with my neighbor.  The door to Tony's apartment opened and I was about to see what I really didn't want to... the suited coroners bringing out the gurney with his body in the bag.  Police.  My apartment manager Mark, who is a sensitive soul and is also who received the call from Tony's daughter that he hadn't answered the phone. He opened Tony's door for her today, and thus there when his body was discovered. 

The coroner said that he collapsed in the kitchen, probably after hanging up the phone with his son. I've said this many times, but they always wait until they've been able to say goodbye or otherwise touch base before they sneak away.

I think of Tony as a man the way men used to be.  He carried himself like an adult and had a good sense of humor, you always felt valued around him.  He was a gentleman.  So much so that I called him "Mr. Tarantino".  He said, "please, call me Tony."

Moral Rigidity

"If you can't be perfect, why bother being good".

I heard this on a sitcom, of all places.  It easily explains ...and rationalizes at the same time.


I'm glad I made a different decision, which wasn't the easiest decision, but nobody can take it away or discredit it.  No matter  how hard they try.

The Best Comment Text, Ever

This about sums it up. Best comment text, ever, from The Big Picture:

"Please use the comments to demonstrate your own ignorance, unfamiliarity with empirical data, ability to repeat discredited memes, and lack of respect for scientific knowledge. Also, be sure to create straw men and argue against things I have neither said nor even implied. Any irrelevancies you can mention will also be appreciated. Lastly, kindly forgo all civility in your discourse . . . you are, after all, anonymous."

The only thing I'd add is, "Please feed the trolls. Arsenic."

An Ode to Bob Baumann and the "Historic Preservation Commission"

Why, you'd think Groucho wrote this just for our beloved blowhards at city hall.

At least someone had some foresight, at some point.