What I Wish I'd Known About The First Two Weeks After Delivery

This is the last post I thought I'd ever write as a blogger, but I think this is important info that would be helpful to other first-time Moms.  I'll make updates to this as I think of new things, so pin it, bookmark it, etc.  If you haven't had the baby yet, this won't mean much of a whit to you, but come back.

1. You have never, and will never experience any moment like the first look at your first baby.  It's absolutely surreal, confusing, beautiful and disorienting (for you both).  You'll feel your heart breaking open in order to accommodate all of the love you're about to feel, forever.
2. Someone suggested that you make a birth plan.  That's nice.
3. Be ready to not sleep when you are at the most tired you've ever been in your entire life.  This will not change.  
4. You will cry a lot, nobody cares that you're crying.
5. You will fall in love like you've never fallen before. You'll run toward any noise that others might run away from. And you won't care.
6. Take lots of photos and videos during the first two weeks. You will be more tired and disoriented than you have ever been, but don't skip this. If you as the mother cannot do this (understandable) ask your husband.  The first two weeks are a magical time when so much change will happen and you won't be able to absorb it, and you will want the photos and videos to look back on.
7. Pray frequently and ask for big things - ask for Mary to look after your baby while you sleep and give her your complete trust.  Ask God, Mary, and/or Jesus to give you ever grace, energy, humor, patience and wisdom you'll need, and never stop asking.
8. Make the decision now to never approach your baby in an exasperated state.  They know nothing of this world and it doesn't make any sense to them. You are their anchor - be that source of stability for them. 
9. Someone offered to help? Great!  You need meals made, cleaning done, laundry warshed, bottles warshed, and the baby watched so that you can take a real shower without rushing through your finishing routine. You also will need a nap and they will be more than happy to spend time with a gorgeous newborn.
10. Speaking of Newborn, the newborn size is the size of clothing that your baby will outgrow the fastest. 
11. Get your baby baptized within three weeks of birth, Two if you can.  Get those graces and protections into them right away. 
12. Breastfeeding.  Everyone is different.  I only produced on one side and had to get used to that reality.  Pump when the baby starts sleeping so that you'll produce more milk.  Eat Hobnobs, Belvita crackers, and oatmeal every day/throughout the day.  You'll produce more milk that way. 
13. Learn about laid-back breastfeeding (google Nancy Mohrbacher).  I wish I had known about this approach, because it would have been healthier for me and for the baby. 
14. Don't stop taking your prenatals.  You can become anemic faster than you realize even though you aren't menstruating.  The milk will be more fortified and you will have more energy and mental clarity  
15. If you have had a c-section, accept the fact that you have to take it easy.  Accept help, don't try to be a hero.
16. If you have had a c-section, do your absolute best to clear your bowels frequently, even if it means a double dose of milk of magnesia. Do ANYTHING you can to keep going to the bathroom. 
17. It's normal to dream that the baby is in the bed with you.  Get this into your head now because you'll remember it when you're half-asleep and feeling all over the bed.
18. It's normal to be worried that the baby isn't breathing.  Barring any real issues like premature delivery other other conditions founded in reality, the baby is indeed breathing.  Check anyway... it's your (new) job.
19. Sleep is unpredictable at best. You will get 1.5-2 hours at a time and it isn't going to stop.  One suggestion I have is for you to go to bed at 6:30 or 7:00 and ask your spouse to put the baby to bed for you.  There's a chance you could get a solid 3-5 hours before the baby wakes up for the first time.  The first night we did this, I felt like a new woman when I woke up at 11:00 p.m.
20. Enjoy every moment that you have with your newborn. Slow down, allow yourself to be quiet, allow yourself to have your hands tied up and unable to check your phone.  Be quiet with your baby and just enjoy them sleeping in your arms.  There is nothing more important that you can be doing right now, and realize that for the rest of your life, you're going to wish you could have just one more day at this time in your baby's life. 
21. Commit to taking at least one photo each day and post it somewhere like Flickr.  I can't tell you how happy I am that we did this!  All of those subtle changes that happen so quickly are captured and organized. 

To be continued!

Should I Blog More?

About nine months ago the most wonderful thing happened to me: my son Richard was born.  My husband and I couldn't be more blessed and fortunate to have this wonderful little man in our lives.  Since that day, I've written many blog posts in my head.  Many of them took place while I was rocking Richie to sleep overnight during the summer.

These blog posts were all about being a new Mother, Wife, and family life.  We are traditional Catholics and without our faith, I don't see how our experience of family could have been nearly this amazing.

So my posts would be about that.  Five years ago I would have said, BORING, and I would have been completely wrong.  There is nothing boring about family life, unless you think that growing as a person and seeing God's love manifest through you is boring.  When I look back on life before marriage and family... well, I think that was pretty boring.  Anyway.  Family and marriage don't turn you into a mind-numbed robot that is programmed for arts, crafts and complaining.  If they do, you're doing it wrong.  You're still yourself at heart, only a vastly improved version.

So maybe I will.  There may be a lot of jokes about poop-wrangling and secret confessions about how many days I've gone without showering, or my c-section "Mom Bod" which is forever changed.  But it'll all be happy.  Because when you have so much to live for, life has so much happiness that you can't hold it and can't help leaving a trail of it wherever you go.

Special Prayer Request

Please take a moment to pray for these priests and their parish. If you need any assistance with prayer, follow this link for powerful prayers for deliverance.  And here for St. Michael the Archangel, our enforcer.

I recieved the following email this morning.

"From Fr. Hearty:

Please pray for Fr. Kenneth Walker, FSSP and Fr. Joseph Terra, FSSP. Their parish rectory was burglarized yesterday evening. Fr. Walker died from his injuries due to gun shot wounds and Fr. Terra is in critical condition. We received the news early this morning and no other details have been released.

Our District Superior, Fr. Flood, is traveling to Phoenix, AZ today.

Here at the OLMC we are scheduling a Requiem Mass @ 6:30 a.m. on Monday June 16th and a High Requiem Mass @ 8:30 a.m. on June 16th. Both Masses will be offered for Fr. Kenneth Walker. Please pray for them and their families. "

The full story can be found here.
http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2014/06/catholic_priests_attacked_at_phoenix_church_one_killed.php

The Beretta PX4 Storm Subcompact

Yesterday we took our new Beretta 9mm's for their maiden voyage at the range.  I am a long gun girl, and never had much confidence in my handgun accuracy or handle-ability. This will sound very Madden-esque, but if you can point and hit something with one gun, chances are you can do it with any gun.

So below please find photos of my first handgun, a Beretta PX4 Storm Subcompact 9mm.  I purchased it for concealed carry and while it's a little large for a CC gun, this was the right choice for me.

This subcompact pistol measures an overall length of 6.2 inches, with a 3.0 inch barrel length. Height is 4.8 inches with an overall width of 1.4 inches.  It comes with two double stack mags holding 13 rounds each. One mag has an extendable grip:

...which is a nice feature but I didn't find that it added to the shooting experience.

The grip fits nicely in both mine and my husband's hand:

I'll allow you to guess whose is whose :)

The gun is a little stiff on the pull and on the lever, so I need to work on it as well as my forearm/hand strength:

So, how does it shoot? Well, reviews I've read say that it shoots as close to the full-size pistol experience as you can get.  I agree with that.  This is a gun that I could spend time with on the range without too much recoil, hand burn, or frustration.  The design absorbs impact very well in my opinion.  I find that this gun is very accurate - 

You can see the recoil here, but it's not major recoil, by the way.

Back to the accuracy.  You don't need a lot of movement to adjust because it's so short, but it took me less than a clip to get the feel for it at 10 yards.  40 yards was another story - but that goes back to my long gun experience and expectations.

I have yet to venture in to the conceal experience and this could feel like a bulky gun, but I have a lot of confidence in its performance and accuracy, so my expectations aren't low.

As of the posting of this here post, I've only spent about 1.5 hours shooting it, but I'd be happy to provide any feedback that I'm qualified to give.

Silver Certificates - 1934-1957

The teller was whipping through dollar bills during our conversation, and I asked her, "do you ever come across old money... silver, reds?"

"Oh sure, yeah the old folks bring 'em in".

"What do you do with them?"

"We hold them aside, there are people who come in and ask for them.  Here [flip flip flip flip, lays out a 1934 silver certificate One Dollar bill], like these".

I reached into my purse and pulled out a single, promptly slapping it in the well underneath the bulletproof glass.  "Can I have that?"


In the early '90s, I started holding on to $2 bills and checking with the bank for silver certificates.  It's been almost twenty years since I asked for them, and today as I was cleaning, I added it to my existing collection.  Surprisingly, the $2's are very crisp and mostly 1976 issue, but I noticed some very interesting things about the silver certs.  Je vous presente les certs.  You can click on them for the large size photos.

I hope that you can see how vibrantly green these bills were.  Look at the three bills pictured together in the above photo (series 1935), compared with the bill in the top of the picture (1957).  In person, these '35s almost emerald... Greenbacks.  How cool is that one at the bottom of the picture, series 1934.

Sometimes I hate cleaning, but then I see what kinds of cool things I've collected over the years.  These are from some relatively prominent times... the Great Depression, the Golden Age of the 50s, the bicentennial in 1976, and some of the $2's are from the Reagan era, which to me is prominent because my family was lifted out of a dire financial state through his policies.

I love this country.

On Ten Years Since 9/11

In my mind today, no time has passed since 9/11.  There is no memory, no moment in my life as seared on my thoughts as the moments that transpired that morning as I watched the towers in smoke and then hit again by Islamic terrorists.  I had just turned 30 and was downsized from my position at the time, so unfortunately I was at home, watching every moment of 9/11 occur.  It was the most traumatic experience of my life.

Everyone has been through something in life.  I grew up in an unsafe environment and I have some pretty big issues with the feeling of safety. My safety is my first priority so to wake up and watch my country being accosted took the cake.  Luckily my roommate - my brother who I can always depend upon to look after me - was at home so I didn't have to go through the horror of September 11th, alone. The day changed me forever and frankly, traumatized me.  It made me very angry to watch the greatest country on earth get attacked. This is America - it wasn't supposed to happen.  Not here.

I have never been the same since that day.  This is something I need to address with therapy, I realize.  But something is different this year compared to all of the other anniversaries.  Maybe it's been so painful that I've blotted it out all these years and this year, something in me won't.  In the wake of all these resurfaced emotions, I can't watch the 9/11 recaps on TV because they make it worse.  They bring up feelings that are so raw that I can't do anything with them.  The event itself was also... so raw and horrible that it can't and maybe shouldn't be reconciled.  We can't do anything to really "make it all better".  9/11 will never be made better, never be soothed, it can only be ignored and denied by some because it's simply too painful to look at head on.

God bless the people who can look at it head on.  God bless the people who fight terrorism and have taken up arms on behalf of all of us to sustain the freedom and grace that is America. 

There is some comfort in knowing that I can't possibly be alone in feeling this way.  I'm angry about my country being attacked and I don't ever want to pretend that I'm not.


Here are my posts from 2006
That day
New York, Ground Zero

On Suffering

The following passage on suffering was posted on Facebook (The Teachings of Jesus Christ).  It's a cut and paste of an article from Matthew Gene Santos, and a very thoughtful read on Suffering. 


The reasons for our suffering are very simple, I'm sure, yet as self-centered, surviving humans we need it to "make sense". Lucky for us, God is patient enough to rephrase the concept of suffering in multiple ways until we understand it.  Once we do (if ever) understand it, we circle back to ourselves and our own needs soon enough so as to forget it and start looking at suffering from a new angle.   
 
If we're lucky, we start "getting it". We quit using our heads, start using our hearts, and obeying God's wisdom in all it's sophistication.

Of all the challenges thrown at Christianity in modern times, perhaps the most sinister is explaining the problem of suffering. How can a loving God allow suffering to continue to occur in the world which He created? For those who have endured massive suffering themselves, this is much more than a philosophical issue, but often becomes a very deep-seated personal and emotional issue. How does the Bible attempt to address this issue? Does the Bible give us any examples of suffering and some indicators on how to deal with it?

The Bible is startlingly realistic when it comes to the problem of endured suffering. For one thing, the Bible devotes an entire book to dealing with the problem. This book concerns a man named Job. It begins with a scene in heaven which provides the reader with the background to Job’s suffering. Job suffers because God contested with Satan. As far as we know, this was never known by Job, nor by any of his friends. It is therefore not surprising that they all struggle to explain Job’s suffering from the perspective of their ignorance, until Job finally rests in nothing but the faithfulness of God and the hope of His redemption. Neither Job nor his friends understood at the time the reasons for his suffering. In fact, when Job is finally confronted by the Lord, Job is silent. Job’s silent response does not in any way trivialise the intense pain and loss he had so patiently endured. Rather, it underscores the importance of trusting God’s purposes in the midst of suffering, even when we don’t know that those purposes are. Suffering, like all other human experiences, is directed by the sovereign wisdom of God. In the end, we learn the lesson that we may never know the specific reason for our suffering, but we must trust in our sovereign God. That is the real answer to suffering.

Another example of suffering in the Bible is Joseph in the book of Genesis. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers, where he was ultimately indicted on false charges and thereby thrown into prison. As a result of Joseph’s suffering and endurance, by God’s grace and power, he is later promoted to governor of Egypt, second only to Pharaoh himself, where he finds himself in a position to make provision to the nations of the world during a time of famine, including his own family and the brothers who sold him into slavery! The message of this story is summarized in Joseph’s address to his brothers in Genesis 50:19-21: “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.”

Romans 8:28 contains some comforting words for those enduring hardship and suffering: “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” In His providence, God orchestrates every event in our lives—even suffering, temptation and sin—to accomplish both our temporal and eternal benefit.

The psalmist David endured much suffering in his time, and this is reflected in many of his poems collected in the book of Psalms. In Psalm 22, we hear the sound of David’s anguish: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? Oh my God, I cry out by day but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent. Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the praise of Israel. In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed. But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people. All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads: 'He trusts in the Lord; let the Lord rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him.'”

It remains an unfathomable mystery to David why God does not intervene in the midst of his suffering and pain. He sees God as the one who is enthroned as the Holy One, the praise of Israel. After all, doesn’t God lead a pretty sheltered life? Isn’t God lucky to live in heaven where all is sweetness and light, where there is no weeping or fear, no hunger or hatred? What does God know of all that humans go through? David goes on to complain that “Dogs have surrounded me; a band of evil men has encircled me, they have pierced my hands and my feet. I can count all my bones; people stare and gloat over me. They divide my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing.”

Did God ever answer David? Sure enough, many centuries later, David received his answer. Roughly one millennium later, a descendent of David named Christ Jesus was killed on a hill called Calvary. On the cross, God endured the suffering and shame of his forefather. Christ’s hands and feet were pierced. Christ’s garments were divided among his enemies. Christ was stared at and gloated over and derided. In fact, Christ uttered the words with which David opens this Psalm, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” thus identifying himself with the suffering of his forefather.

Because Christ, the eternal Son of God in whom the fullness of God dwells, has lived on earth as a human being and has endured hunger, thirst, temptation, shame, persecution, nakedness, bereavement, betrayal, mockery, injustice and death, He is in a position to fulfil the longing of Job, “If only there were someone to arbitrate between us, to lay his hand upon us both, someone to remove God’s rod from me, so that his terror would frighten me no more. Then I would speak up without fear of him, but as it now stands with me, I cannot” (Job 9:33).

Christian theism is, in fact, the only worldview which can consistently make sense of the problem of evil and suffering. Apart from the fact that Christians serve a God who has lived on this earth and been through trauma, temptation, bereavement, torture, hunger, thirst, persecution and even execution, the cross of Christ can be regarded as the ultimate manifestation of God’s justice. When asked how much God cares about the problem of evil and suffering, the Christian God is the only God who can point to the cross, and say “that much.” Christ experienced rejection from God, saying, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” He experienced just the same suffering as many people do in many parts of the world today who are feeling isolated from God’s favor and love.

The Christian worldview is thus the only worldview which even makes an attempt at addressing this paradox. How can God be just and still forgive wicked men such as ourselves? The answer lies in the cross of Christ and that alone.

Matthew Gene Santos- Global Scope Ministries

Prayer of the Unknown Confederate Soldier

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

Author Unknown,
(Attributed to a battle weary C.S.A soldier near the end of the war) 

The UPAF Ride for the Arts - Success!

Before I get into the ride review... I want to thank all of my wonderful supporters, your support for the arts in Milwaukee is extremely appreciated. The arts don't pay well or make a lot of money as a profession, but they round out our lives and fire our synapses. Also thanks to everyone for listening to me as I ran my mouth (daily) about the ride. My temperament is an anxious one, and that's when I run my mouth the most. Anticipation of an event is always worse than the event.

First and foremost, I was against a bike path on the Hoan before I was for it. Other cities provide this access but in most cases, the bridges were designed to accommodate bikes and pedestrians. The Hoan bridge was not. We'd be hard-pressed to widen the bridge at this point for many reasons. First is that the steel used in the bridge is not a pure alloy and it was heated to a very high temperature to create the curves of the bridge. It's more brittle than that of a train trestle, for example. Widening the bridge just isn't going to happen.

I support the idea of bike and pedestrian access on the bridge, but I don't think there is room for it.

Either way, riding that bridge was damned fun. I'd do it over and over again if I could. The grade is gradual and is a blast when the wind is coming out of the northeast. Now, turning around and riding the other way would be another story. Riding into the wind with the grade would be incredibly challenging in a good way. It's realistic to actually bike the Hoan.

An event like this ride reminds me that I'm a closet Type A. I'm a quiet person but incredibly competitive. I won't be outdone, unless it's by someone who is clearly elite in their training. That's when I give the thumbs up, and pick up my pace and try in vain to stick with them. I'm very motivated by competition and get ultra impatient when someone is in front of me - that goes for driving, too.

We rode south along the lake through Bay View, St. Francis, down to the turnaround at Grant Park. The roads in Grant Park were atrocious and I worried about my tires and I worried about my assbones. My seat has next to no padding. It's all about clearance, Clarence.

Riding north for the last half of the race became tiring because we were facing a strong headwind off the lake. I kept the bike in high gears for much of the ride, which made it easier to hit the hills and grades as well as generally kick ass. It wasn't a race, but I wanted to make good time. Plus I firmly believe that if you don't keep the right speed, you'll tire out faster and enjoy less of the ride. My riding style isn't to get out of the saddle either, I prefer to become more compact and use the leverage of my short legs.

There are bikes for all sizes of people... I saw some very tall people on some very tall bikes. It was like getting passed by a giraffe.

I got everyone's name on my person, so you all went over the bridge with me :) Some pictures I took in the daylight and unfortunately they did not turn out. If you don't see your name, please know that you were there!

More rides are in my future, and maybe a race or two. If today's ride taught me anything, it's that I most definitely have a need to let'r snap. And compete. And generally, kick ass.

Why Do My Prayers Go Unanswered?

Our regular priest is on a medical leave. Knowing the good Canon there was probably some kicking and screaming involved. We're very fortunate to have him and in fact, I credit him in many ways for saving my soul. I wasn't always this humble, you know.

He wouldn't leave us in the hands of amateurs. In his place, we've been treated to masses and lessons from many great priests from the Institute of Christ the King, Sovereign Priest. One of my favorite is Canon Talarico from the Chicago apostolate. He's deceptively young in appearance, yet enormously strong and wise. I've waited all week for them to post Sunday's homily focused on why our prayers sometimes go unanswered. Why did I wait so diligently? I wanted to share it with you, of course.

This recording includes the epistle and Gospel translations prior to the homily. But don't skip over them, they're good for you. And it will all make sense.

Dominus Vobiscum

Homily - 5th Sunday After Easter

Coming In To Focus

I'll be 40 in just under two months. Regrettably, 40 isn't what it used to be, not like it was for the Greatest Generation and other generations. For me, I'm still letting go of perceptions that I formed about life in my 20s. That's something I welcome - I don't want to miss the good things that come from the wisdom of age and an ever-developing lens of the soul.

Here's a neat little song that I heard last night. For me, it lightheartedly captures what we part from with age, while keeping the lightness of heart.




Through the corridors of sleep
Past the shadows dark and deep
My mind dances and leaps in confusion.
I don't know what is real,
I can't touch what I feel
And I hide behind the shield of my illusion.

So I'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And flowers never bend
With the rainfall.

The mirror on my wall
Casts an image dark and small
But I'm not sure at all its my reflection.
I am blinded by the light
Of God and truth and right
And I wander in the night without direction.

So I'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And flowers never bend
With the rainfall.

Its no matter if you're born
To play the king or pawn
For the line is thinly drawn tween joy and sorrow,
So my fantasy
Becomes reality,
And I must be what I must be and face tomorrow.

So I'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And flowers never bend
With the rainfall.

On a lighter note...

About two months ago, I started changing my diet again. Some of the things either no longer in the mix or only in true moderation are: Sweets/sugar, wheat products, and dairy.

Of course this is restrictive, but there are many, many great things you can still eat. In fact, it forces you to think about other foods that have been crowded out with "norm" foods: things that we're conditioned to think we should have every day because they're the most available (and frankly not the healthiest options, they're just what's for sale). While sweets are out of the mix, I still eat fruit and small amounts of dried fruit.

What's so great about this? Well, weight loss isn't one of them to be honest with you. Here's what I've noticed:

• My blood sugar is much more stable which translates to better energy throughout the day (mental and physical).
• Skin issues are also long gone - no pimples whatsoever.
• My mind is clearer
• No more heartburn
• I get to go to the bathroom every single day.  Yes, that's a big deal.

This is very "no-mores" focused, but let's face it, when you're banging your head against the wall to fix a lot of seemingly unconnected, nagging issues, you notice their absence. For me, that absence is met with relief - I can focus on many other things.

Nobody's been able to explain some of the metabolic/energy issues I've had throughout my life, but it's good to get to this point.  Getting people to fixate on themselves is really, really big business.  I hate that about our culture, by the way. Google "Googlechondria" and you'll see what I mean.

I don't need any magic fixes or diets or pills or fancy diagnoses.  I'm just thankful to have found what works enough.    

Well, I was with Pat Condell, Until...

I realized how incredibly anti-Christian he is. I can't support or repost material from someone who calls Jesus the Greatest Lie Ever Told.

Now, I don't think it's necessary to go into all the reasons that he's wrong. That would crash the internet. And thankfully, it's above my pay grade.

Islam and Bedbugs

Here is all you need to know about Islam and Islamist societies. You don't have like it, in fact nobody should, but for the sake of all human society, acknowledge what we're up against. Yes, we.

Bibi Netanyahu and Barack Obama in Their Early 20s

So many conversations can be started with this photo comparison of Bibi and Barack in their early 20s. Here are a few quick hits that came to mind for me:

- Bibi is gorgeous.

- The difference is startling: One photo demonstrates manliness, responsibility, courage, wisdom, adulthood, purpose, confidence in oneself, and intelligence. The other represents running away from oneself, fitting in, sloth, siphoning, waiting, childhood, skating by.

Who would you rather have standing next to you in a crisis situation. Who would you rather have standing next to you if you had been in NY when the Twin Towers were collapsing. Who is going to stand by your side when times get tough. Who is going to run or look to you instead and expect you to take care of things for them, instead of setting themselves aside so that both of you can survive?

Who has the will? Who has the strength to lay down their life for you?

I believe we should all be willing to rise to the occasion and sacrifice for and with one another, through the grace of God. Without that grace, we're shells... we're the guy on the right side of the pic.

Where do you want to stand? Or sit...?